whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
