Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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