my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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