his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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