Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize