oh god the rape fog is back!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize