I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
