We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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