I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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