At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I pour the whiskey from now on
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
