Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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