Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
