Pappa wants mamma naked
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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