Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
