you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had sex on a roof
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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