3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
