Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
