This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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