So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
