sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
