i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
