That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
