Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
