he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
