i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
