nut hugger
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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