Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
