Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
