Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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