It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize