I want to stick my p in your. b.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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