Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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