Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We're too hungover to prance.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
