you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
