It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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