i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
