The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
