Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my sisters under your porch take her home
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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