toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's Friday. Sex?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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