So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
