ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
