RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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