I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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