as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize