hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
