Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
