I cannot find my penis.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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