True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
