arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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