He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
