so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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