funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
