You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize