Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
