Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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