she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
