Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
